25 Things I learned in my first 25 years

On the eve of the last night of the first quarter of my life I feel like it should be more extravagant. I feel like there should be this fire inside of me to reflect on what it means to be getting ready to enter the next quarter century of my life. But the fact of the matter is, there is nothing special about it, tomorrow will still be another day, the sun will rise (maybe the clouds will part to show us it), and I will still be me. 

The main difference? How incredibly happy I am. 

Not that the first quarter century of my life has been bad by any means, but lessons learned have shown me that influence took a lot out of me, and that the next 25 years are going to be even better. No quarter life crisis here, except for the ongoing one we battle everyday as humans. Just lessons that I carry with me, and that I will share with you.

These lessons, just words on a piece of paper, give meaning to wisdom and progress our character.

Lesson 1) You want to eat that piece of pizza? Go for it! You want to have that piece of cake? Eat it already! Life is too short to have salad for every meal. Let your sweet tooth savor in the finer things in life, but take care of your body. It is the only one you are given, and at the end of the day, it won't matter how much success you have if your body cannot keep up with it.

Lesson 2) When your mom calls, pick up the phone. Better yet, call your mom, EVERYDAY. You may think she nags you a lot, and tells you things you already know. and all of that may be true. Here's a secret, no matter whether you are an only child or the youngest of 7 children, your mom winged it with you! She did things the best way she knew how, and you wouldn't be who you are without her. Forgive her for not reading your mind.

Lesson 3) When opportunity comes knocking, answer. There is nothing worse than wondering "what if".  Do not open yourself up to the possibility of regret, and even if you do, don't regret a thing in your life, your choices make you, no matter how good or bad they are. Do yourself a favor and immerse your character in the opportunities presented to you, no matter how scary they may seem at first glance, you may surprise yourself.

Lesson 4) When it comes to your schoolwork, or your career, work your ASS off. Study for tests, turn in your homework completed, finish projects on time, and be teachable. No matter what. If that means that you study at the bar on quarter beer night, or you stay up all night and fall asleep on your pizza box before running to class with pizza sauce still on your face, do it. Education is the greatest gift, and a good career is nonexchangeable.

Lesson 5)  Travel. Seriously!! Whenever possible, travel. It is so easy to get comfortable in our lives, superficially happy, but in reality it is easy to slip into just going through the motions. Expand your mind and understand people outside your community. There is no greater teacher than culture itself.

Lesson 6)  Sing. Loudly. In the shower, in the car, in your room. Even if you sing badly, sing your heart out. Music is based in perception. Give yourself the opportunity to stand out. Your showerhead won't judge you, and we all know the guy in the car next to us with a "you're crazy" look on his face, has done the same. exact. thing.

Lesson 7) Don't be embarrassed to be quirky. We are all weird. In one way or another, each one of us does something weird on a daily basis. Embrace your quirk, define yourself by your weirdness, and let everyone know that you find comfort in being eccentric, because normal is just boring.

Lesson 8)  Even if he says he loves you, it doesn't mean that he does. It just means he knows what to say. Words are meaningless if they are not accompanied by the right behaviors, and the right actions. Don't let yourself be fooled by manipulation, and cut it off before you fall. There is nothing harder than climbing out of a hole you have dug yourself. (except for maybe an hour on the arc trainer at the gym)

Lesson 9) Be a total cliche sometimes. "Dance as if no one is watching" "Love teen dramas" because you are a 20 something girl and you can. No one has the right to judge a cliche when they alone, in some way, are a statistic as well. Which brings me to my next one,

Lesson 10) You are a statistic. Just get over it already! At any given point in our lives, we all have a number attached to us. A percentage of how we make up the world. There is absolutely NOTHING you can do about it. Let it ride, and embrace the small piece of this world that you make up.

Lesson 11) Learn to have faith. No one got very far in this world without realizing that there is, at least, some power pushing us forward. The laws of physics, scientifically, will not allow it. For me? It was realizing a divine power, for you, it may be purely scientific. But, from what I learned, is that there are God moments. Everyday there is a way that God shows us that we are not alone, and that we do not have control over everything and we just have to deal with it, and find peace in it rather than fight it

Lesson 12) Date. Date lots of men/women. I don't mean SLEEP with a lot of men/women. But date, a lot. There are millions of people in this world, before you settle down, learn what you like in a mate, what you don't, and whatever you do...do not IGNORE red flags, those little bastards will get you every time.

Lesson 13) Accept support from the people that love you. Your family, friends, significant other, whomever they might be in your life. They are all you have to keep your world from falling apart sometimes. Don't push them away, but rather, keep them close. You may be your own worst enemy sometimes, and they might be the only thing that can save you from yourself.

Lesson 14)  Clean your room/dorm/apartment. The more organized your life is, the better you will feel about things if they get out of control. However, do not, I repeat, do not, be afraid to make a mess sometimes. A mess shows that life continues to impact spaces and rooms and nooks, not just people.

Lesson 15) Explore. Music, Food, Hobbies. How would you even know what you like/don't like if you have never experienced it all? Comfort does us a great disservice when it keeps us from aspects of life that we might enjoy were we to give ourselves the chance to try it.

Lesson 16) Believe in the power of optimism. Negativity will kill you. No, of course not physically (unless you own a light saber and/or know the dark lord). What you put out into the universe, is what you will get back.

Lesson 17) Help others, seek out the less fortunate. Especially when you feel extra bad that you didn't get an A on your last test, or hit goal at work last month. Every single person in this world has more than another in some way shape or form. Use the gifts you have been given no matter how big, or how small, to make a difference. The joy you will see transpire is irreplaceable.

Lesson 18) Spend money on memories, not on objects. Worldly artifacts depreciate. They become rusty with age, and unusable to a certain extent (except for wine, that always gets better with age). Memories are permanently engraved, ripened by experience, and understood with time as opposed to depreciated.

Lesson 19) Get drunk. Or at least go out and pretend you are. I am sure there will be backlash on this one. But I am serious. The best stories come from a night when you go out and you just do whatever you want, whenever you want to do it. Just don't get arrested.

Lesson 20) Drink really good wine. Learn the extent to which your tastebuds can reach. And in the meantime, you can let that pinky flip up with your fanciness.

Lesson 21) Treat yourself. Play hookie, go MIA, get a massage, a facial, a pedicure (yes, even you men out there). Mental health days are imperative to productivity. This is not a scientific fact, but I am pretty sure it is accurate

Lesson 22) Cry. Ain't nothing wrong with a few tears. Feeling overwhelmed? Frustrated? Like the world is against you? There is nothing better than having a good old cry. But when you are done, and there is no more water in your head, drink a bottle of water to rehydrate, wash the tears, and remember that you are amazing, and can take on anything.

Lesson 23) Laugh. Especially at yourself. Because you are funny (looking). No I am kidding, you actually do have a sense of humor, I don't care how serious you come across. You fell up the stairs? Ha, that's life. Oh, and don't worry about that snort at the end of your laugh, no one noticed.

Lesson 24) Love. Everything. Forgive those that made you forget to love them. And love them anyways. Look for the best in people, but don't forget about the worst. Love your life because you don't get another one. If you cannot fall completely in love with your life, how can you fall in love and complete someone else?

Lesson 25) Make mistakes. Your years are nothing without failures, your success is nothing without a few mistakes. Don't be afraid of imperfection. Imperfection is the key ingredient to beauty, defined by our uniqueness. Our individuality defines our outlook on the world, our outlook on ourselves, and the way we deal with our mistakes. Our mistakes do not define us, but they push us, everyday, to be better.

I wish I could say these lessons were easy to learn, but that would be a lie. I have always had to learn things the hard way. But I wouldn't trade a single day in for another. And whether you learn these lessons now, or it takes you a few years, don't believe for a second that anything was not meant to happen...

At the end of the day the biggest risk you take, is not taking risks at all. 

A Beautiful Symphony

Music is the gateway into our past, it is the element of our present, and it is the promise of our future.

I have come to know something I don't know that I have had in a long time. A fraction of my life that I completely looked past, a note within a symphony so overpowered it was lost in the orchestra of different tunes. It is a beautiful symphony though, this symphony of my life. Who knew that one note could change the entire arrangement, the entire sound, the entire impact.

Much like a band of instruments, a song strings together notes. Notes, or brief pitches of noise, some heightened, some deep, some lengthened, and some just around long enough to say they were there for the show. Our songbook is drawn from a string of realities which we create within our own minds. Chapters where our songs sing of happiness, some where they sing of sorrow, some where they are just enough sound to give life to a blank page.

My symphony has formed a good book, its like reading without seeing. It's a replica of my trials, my success' and my small moments of clarity. Heard only by my ears, the music plays over and over, page by page I recognize the instruments, the individuality of every beating drum, of every piano key stroke, of every violin glide, of every breath in and out of the flutes and trumpets that are blaring reminiscence of pride. 

Every once in a while my ears catch it though, That faint clap, that beautiful climax, the sound I long to hear in every page, so silent in the past, but so overpowering now. Its the sound of hope. The thing about this unique sound, is that it can be in the form of whatever instrument you choose. It can be heard by as many ears as you wish, it can be subtle in the background, or it can be the main event. 

The point is, we are the conductors of our own orchestra. Gliding our hands with the changing times, the transition of seasons, the reminders, and the memories. And with the flick of our wrist, we have the power to change it all. The voice that each sound carries louder than the time before, that hope the loudest of them all.

Hope once heard from our basement corners, now fill the halls of our own personal Carnegie, A sound so familiar and so comforting, the world wonders why we kept it hidden for so long.
We replay the noise in our head.

These strokes, which create noise, placed in sequence as notes, as moments on parchment of music teach us how to love. They teach us how to keep memories alive. They teach us how to hope.

But, perhaps most of all, they teach us that we can never learn if we don't listen.