We spend our lives wishing for that perfect man to come along. We build a fantasy in our minds consistent with the idea of beginning a family by the age of 23 like our mother did. Now, that big house in the country with a baby swing out front and a wrap around porch almost haunts our dreams as we wake up alone with a cold side to the bed. By the time we are 25 we find ourselves sleeping in the middle of the bed to forget that two sides exist and pillows pile on to fill the empty spaces.
Our minds are like our beds, by the time you get played a few times, dumped by the guy you thought was "the one", fall in love with someone who would never love you back, or lose yourself in someone who wasn't willing to find you, we begin to fill the spaces in our minds and in our hearts where emptiness resides. We fill these corners of our minds with thoughts about how these guys were jerks and we allow our hearts to play on that, inadvertently we choose to allow these thoughts to rule our day to day lives.
Although this is not the same for everyone, maybe I am more of a feminist than I let on, but life is about having control. I don't know a single successful woman that doesn't need to have control over everything in her life. We think that control comes down to a few specifics. We are taught that if we thrive on our career, our relationships, and our physical image than we must have control over our lives.
The truth is, that we only have control over our destiny to a certain extent, and if we program ourselves to take responsibility for the things in our lives that we have control over, we will be successful. However, sometimes the absence of control, and the relinquishing of the stress that coincides with attempting to seize this control is what truly allows us happiness in our success'.
Think about it. When was the last time you didn't feel at least a little bit bad about your life when you saw yet another picture of a happy couple on Facebook? When we let go of the idea that we have control over when and who we fall in love with, then that twinge of guilt, or sadness, or insufficiency, would cease to exist. We would look at another picture and in our mind we would look to the other side of the bed with hope and excitement.
I am by no means making a statement against those who marry young, who find the love of their life in high school and live happily ever after. It doesn't make either of us better or worse for living our lives the way we have chosen to. It's all just very different, and diversity is in no sense any reason for animosity. When we allow ourselves to see the happiness in other peoples individualized success' {whatever they may be} we can begin to see the same in our own.
So,
Seek responsibility and
Relinquish the uncontrollable
Live your life on your own terms
And most importantly:
